莱特曼（David Letterman）是全美最受爱戴的电视清谈节目主持人之一，目前效力哥伦比亚广播公司（CBS）。他的节目中有个固定的传统栏目“最佳十句”（Top Ten List），由观众按他出的不同主题自行投稿，极尽调侃之能事。

本周一的最新主题是“摆脱总统大选困境的十大笨建议”，顾名思义，显然与大选目前的闹剧有关。

主题：解决总统大选现状的十大傻招

10.赶紧找出一位叫姓“戈尔”名“乔治”的家伙，他才是真命天子！
9.两个人分别当总统，统治投票选他们的子民；
8.从坟墓中请出已经过世的幽默大师迪士尼，让他来投下决定性一票；
7.别在黄金剧场突然插播“大选快报”，我才不管结果如何；
6.让他们换一个佛罗里达州的经典节目：泳衣比赛！
5.让棕榈滩的各位老兄们排队跳康加舞（虽然于事无补，但也精彩得多！）
4.哪位大选直播的主持人坚持到最后，就让他随便挑一个总统吧。
3.马上订一个投票新规则：谁在选票上打两个孔，票站马上爆炸！
2.让我弟弟杰-布什决定吧！
1.别逗了，干嘛要结束呢？！这不挺精彩的么？！

Top Ten Dumb Guys Ways To Solve Presidential Election Confusion

10.Find some guy named George W. Gore. Make him President
9.Each can be president of the people who voted for them
8.Thaw out Walt Disney, let him cast the deciding vote
7.I don%%$t care how things get solved; just don%%$t run any special reports during $$%Becker$$%
6.Do what they do in other important contests in Florida: swimsuit competition
5.Form Conga line with everyone in Palm Beach (won%%$t solve a thing, but boy are they fun)
4.Whichever news anchor can stay awake the longest gets to pick
3.New rule: You punch 2 holes, voting booth explodes
2.Let my brother Jeb decide
1.Solve it? Are you nuts? This is great!

转自大纪元(http://renminbao.com)